Losses

When my grandma Carter died, we lived quite far from her.  We only saw her occasionally on holidays. I realized that grief for her would show up every time she was supposed to be present but wasn't.   

I have experienced many losses in my life - good friends gone too soon, family members, and people whom I have shared a lot of life with.  They still visit my memories when they are supposed to...and each time they visit I miss them.

This week I have been thinking about the first person I remember passing away.  I was probably five years old when my dad and I went to check on our friend Woody.  No dad wants their 5 year old daughter to be with them when they find a friend gone.  I haven't thought about Woody in years.  I remember he was a smoker and had a gravelly  voice, but little.  But I still remember him.  

Perhaps this began my journey of loving people well and for as long as I am able.  Maybe it was my parents' willingness to care for people who didn't have others caring for them.  Or perhaps it was my grandma's loving care of everyone - "family from hello" is how she approached life.  Probably all of those and more.  But life of loving big and fully comes at a cost.  Loss comes with all of it.  And loss is hard. Loss hurts every time.  Loss hurts over and over. 

Much love to those who have people they love in their memories.  I pray you can cherish revisiting with the memories as a way to remember how big your love was for them.